"Fill your blank canvas with color-- quality people to bring love and light to your life!"
In past relationships I always devoted so much time into a person I was with that my boyfriend would become my best friend. Sometimes my friendships faded or eventually his friends became mine. When the relationship ended, so did those friendships, so I was left without a partner or a 'friend'. For many others out there, this same story resonates. The moral really is to have genuine friends of your own too even when you are in a romantic relationship... Friends who are on your side, support you, and who can lift your spirits. It is important to have friends in your life. If you are in the same boat as I was, and ended up friendless after a breakup, but are open to new friendships now, then keep reading!
Losing a friend or falling out with a group of friends can feel like a break up in itself. So, if you lost friends and a partner- it's like a double whammy. I understand your pain, been there... but just like you can find a new partner and fall in love again, you can also meet new people to build new and lasting friendships with.
Why Does Everyone Need A Friend?
In life it is essential to have at least one person in your corner who you can confide in, who you can trust (outside of a romantic partnership)...and that is what a friend is. Friendships help us deal with stress and allow us to rebound from breakups, health issues, and social issues more quickly. Good friends help us make better lifestyle choices that keep us strong. They are people you can laugh and have a good time with. A healthy friendship is an amplifier of positive mental health, and spending time with positive #friends can actually change our outlook on life for the better.
Think About It...What Kind Of Friend(s) Would You Like?
A fellow single? Someone adventurous and outdoorsy...or laid back and funny. What kind of person would mesh well with your personality? Make a list or mental notes of places, clubs, or social networks where you might meet the kind of person you've thought of.
It's Okay To Have Different Types Of Friends
There's that friend who you like to see scary movies with, the club banger friend, the intellectual friend who you can go to seminars with, the friends that gives great advice, and... You get it : ) . Different people offer different vibes. Sometimes you and one friend do not have all of the same interests, but still get along very well...so you may go to a specific event with another friend who'd enjoy it more. Many people have various friends that they can have fun with and then 1 or 2 very close, best friends, to share more of personal life with. It is okay and not uncommon to have friends who you can enjoying doing different things with.
If You Want A Good Friend, Be A Good Friend
Friends are a dime a dozen but good friends are something special. Your good friends are not only good-spirited people at their core but are also people with common interests, who you can laugh with, who listen well, who are respectful, capable of empathy and allow themselves to be emotionally open to you. These people are honest, kind, have your best interest at heart, defend you, support you, and don't let you do dumb ish. Any type of relationship that is considered healthy has balance and is a two-way street. This means both persons give to and receive from the friendship equally. The connection is fair and fulfilling.
Tips on Building A Tribe
I've found myself in a few mismatched friend groups is the past, people with different morals, interests, and even a few mean-spirited people who had malicious intentions. When you begin building or finding your own tribe, you want to...just like any relationship, be cognizant of red flags. The best friends are the people who are good-spirited, at the same stage in life as you, have gone through similar experiences, and/or share common interests with you. I know you may be in a vulnerable state and still healing from a break up or falling out with friends, but do not latch on to just any ole body and call them bestie. Unfortunately not everyone is good friend material for you, but rest assured, the more you get out there, being yourself and doing the things you love, the more likely you'll find your tribe-mates.
Don't go too fast. Just like in a romantic relationship, if you go too fast in a friendship, you may end up being friends with the wrong kind of person. You rush into it, but then all of a sudden you find out something you don’t like. You begin to notice immaturity, bad manners or the person becomes strange or clingy. Then the "friendship" gets awkward as you pull away. Better to be patient and think quality and compatibility over quantity.
How Can I Make New Friends?
You have to put yourself in situations to meet new people. You can do this by engaging in your favorite activities, starting a hobby, or venturing out of your comfort zone to try new things. For example...
o Join a social sports league.
o Join a group--book club or gardening club.
o Start being more active on social media (i.e. Instagram, Facebook, Twitter).
o Attend local events (rooftop parties, galas, red carpets, paint & sips, festivals).
o Take classes--a cooking class, foreign language class, or a dancing class, etc.
o Volunteer in your community or participate in local charity and networking events.
o Go to places you enjoy for entertainment like lounges, bars, college or professional sports games, theaters, concerts, etc.
o Walk your dog at a popular park or sign your doggie up for group play dates. You and your pet may find a new friend!
o Go to fitness classes or start working out more and training to meet people at the gym.
o Participate in web chats or comment on site forums and blogs.
***If you cannot physically go out try virtual events and activities.
TALK MORE! This can be challenging for some of us... but we are just going to have to communicate in order to create new connections.
Remember to be open, friendly, charismatic, funny, or helpful. Show what is positive about you. Be a good person and have fun! Happy people make friends more easily. They also attract more people, which provides better opportunities to make friends.
*A family member close in age, a trusted coworker, or classmate can make great friends too.
Check Out The Websites And FREE Apps Created To Facilitate Making Friendships
WEBSITES: 5 listed but there are MORE!
Click to find one you like!