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50 Signs He (Or She) REALly Loves You!

Does he (or she) REALly love you??? Let's Answer The Question...


Everyone (well nearly everyone) wants it; everyone needs it; but not everyone experiences it. You can of course guess what I am talking about. It's Love! Wow, does it feel amazing to be genuinely loved. It can change your whole outlook on life when you experience love from a partner, family, or friends.

Many people grow up without experiencing, what I call, REAL Love. Real love is love the verb, and it is non-transactional. As children or adolescents, some of us are exposed to a distortion of what love is. A few examples of this type of "love"are...


Love = simply how much money, gifts, or material possessions someone gives


Love = praising or lusting over someone because of physical attractiveness


Love = attention only for winning, or only if you accomplish something notable


Love = codependency (excessive emotional or psychological reliance on someone)


Love = words (apologizing or telling someone you love them without action to support it)


Love = obligation ("I have to. I've been with him/her for so long. We have kids together.")


FYI* LOVE DOES NOT EQUATE TO THOSE THINGS.

Love is not forced, superficial, material, toxic, or vain.

Early exposure to this kind of "love"causes people to grow up and enter into toxic relationships... or at minimum, they enter or remain in either unfulfilling relationships or relationships that don't reach their fullest potential. These types of relationships occur because one or both people know only a distortion of love and associate love with how much money someone gives them, how much someone needs attention from them physically or emotionally, and so on...

Maybe this person you are thinking of does "love" you, but unfortunately it may not be a love that is healthy OR you two are just not compatible.. two different people in two different places in life.


*Note:

One cannot fault parents forever because of toxic patterns learned from them. Most parents did what they could and what they knew how to do at that time. It is likely that they too experienced distortions of love. It is our job to break the cycle!

Here Is An Epic 50 Point Relationship Checklist

That Will Help You Answer The Question..

Does He Or She REALly Love Me?


Remember, The Love You Want & Need Is A VERB!

The more lines that apply (below), the more REAL and healthy the love is:


1. O Makes plans for a long-term future with you


2. O Shows both consistency and commitment towards you using words and actions


3. O Calls, texts, visits, etc just to talk to you or to see how you are doing


4. O Offers to help or does something good without being asked to make you happy


5. O Shows affection privately & publicly and expresses how much you mean to them


6. O Chooses compromise over "muddying the waters" or over argument escalation


7. O Cares more about resolving any issue than being right or being in control


8. O Makes efforts to include you in events or activities with family and friends


9. O Is there for you when you are sick, hurt, or hit a financial rough patch


10. O Shows up when you need & follows through on promises even when inconvenient

11. O Opens up to you-- shares thoughts, passions, dreams, and aspirations with you


12. O Is willing to try new things with you or go new places--creating special memories


13. O Misses you and thinks about you when you are apart from each other


14. O Doesn't let ego get in the way of communicating vulnerability or creating peace


15. O Doesn't insult your intelligence, attack you, or harp on your mistakes or misfortunes


16. O Doesn't bring up resolved issues from the past to hurt you or make you feel guilty


17. O Ensures you are pleased and your needs are met too (give not just receive)


18. O Considers how actions affect you & asks your input before making major decisions


19. O Chooses You---Prioritizes you and the relationship, making you high on the list


20. O Comforts, supports, & protects you, making you feel safe physically & emotionally


21. O Values your insight and praises your beautiful mind, talents, skills, and efforts


22. O Shows appreciation for you with gifts but also with words and sweet gestures


23. O Listens- expresses comprehension, understanding, and empathy when appropriate


24. O Nurtures you, compliments you, reassures you, respects you, and uplifts you


25. O Does not purposely try to make you feel jealous, sad, scared, or mad

26. O Gives to you without always expectation of receiving something in return


27. O Doesn't let you do, or pressure you to do, things that can harm you or others


28. O Makes an effort to get to know who you are, your likes and dislikes


29. O Spends quality time with you alone and without distractions


30. O You don't have to question if he loves you, because it's apparent--you feel it


31. O Cares about your well being, not because they have to, but because they want to


32. O Doesn't disappear when it's a bad day or insult you if you don't look your best


33. O Gives you space and time to think, heal, process, etc. if you need it


34. O Doesn't rely on you for everything or fault you for having your own life


35. O Allows you to have your time to shine---does not make everything about them


36. O Makes sacrifices if, or when, necessary for the success of the relationship


37. O Does not seek other intimate connections or chase after other women or men


38. O Defends you--and does not allow others to hurt, trash talk, or tear you down


39. O Talks highly of you to others and shares a true depiction of you and the relationship


40. O Doesn't give or withhold money, clothes, jewels, etc as a means to bribe or control

41. O Doesn't intentionally sabotage self, you, or a relationship for attention or control


42. O Is happy when good happens in your life instead of being jealous of your success


43. O Looks at you with passion, care, pride, intrigue, admiration, or amazement


44. O Chooses to be fair, kind, patient and does not ignore or belittle you for power


45. O Is open and honest--Not hiding, no lying, no secrets, no withholding information


46. O Would rather make you smile than make you sad, embarrassed, or stressed


47. O Wants to evolve and be a better person for you, & takes necessary actions to be


48. O Remembers the little things and the big things--doesn't forget important dates


49. O Finds your flaws endearing and/or works in support of you wanting to change something you don't like about yourself


50. O Doesn't quit on you or the relationship--wants to work together to create harmony

Use this checklist to get you thinking more deeply about your relationship. In my experience, loving relationships will have most if not all of these bubbles checked off.


*SCORE CHART


Checked 46-50 out of 50 =

REAL, EXCELLENT, STRONG, HEALTHY


Checked 36- 45 out of 50 =

GREAT & LOVING, BUT ROOM FOR IMPROVEMENT IF DESIRED


Checked 21-35 out of 50 =

IMMATURITY INVOLVED, INCOMPATIBLE PARTNERSHIP, OR NOT "IN-LOVE"


Checked 0-20 out of 50 =

TOXIC, POSSIBLE MENTAL ILLNESS, AND/OR NOT REAL LOVE



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