To me, there is no fine line between being selfish and loving self, but for some reason too many people see "the line" as blurred, thinned, or non-existent. Those people are most likely spoiled, naive, out of touch, or even worse...experience some sort of distortion of reality like narcissists and the personality disordered. Trust and believe I have dealt with my fair share of narcissists (two is more than enough) and selfish persons claiming they "love" others but their actions just display that their minds are really thinking all the time: "it is ALL about me, me, and ME...EFF what anyone else wants, thinks, needs, or feels."
Yep, it's a sick and sad world it seems...sorry to be so somber. I just had a brief moment of remembering. But anyway, despite those people who unfortunately have NO empathy bone in their body and can never see any other perspective but theirs, it is 100% possible to love yourself AND others in a genuine and healthy way. There really is so much beauty and love in the world and the sooner you can heal yourself, love yourself, and create both balance and boundaries the sooner you can happily live life to the fullest.
THIS IS IMPORTANT!
CHECK OUT THE "DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SELF LOVE AND SELFISHNESS" CHART BELOW
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DIFFERENCES BETWEEN SELF-LOVE & SELFISHNESS
*The chart I created above is a great summarized list. I added two more rows (Numbers 10 and 11 below). You can download the complete chart with all rows for FREE. Just click HERE.
10. Seeking help if needed is self-love; Denial and resisting help or positive change is selfish
11. Speaking positive words of encouragement to yourself is self-love; Tearing yourself down or engaging in negative thinking patterns regularly (especially to the point that you stop progressing / don't try anymore and have to depend mostly on others for support is selfish)
Tell Your Hubby / Wifey, Kids, Friends, Family, Or Whoever To WAIT... Because You Need Your
(a.k.a a form of self-love)
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Sometimes you have to say "NO". Draw the line and make it permanent. Boundaries are vital in any type of relationship and exist in ALL healthy relationships. It is much harder for some to maintain boundaries, but...it has to be done to avoid imbalance. Imbalance, along with you not sticking to your word when you tell someone "NO", leaves room for people to take advantage of you. Eventually you'll end up back in a cycle of being too forgiving or giving too much of your time and energy to someone who only takes from you (or gives very little in comparison to you). At that point, more toxic/unhealthy behaviors can potentially seep into the framework of the relationship. So, you better hope there are no cracks in that relationship's foundation, otherwise you are looking at a recipe for disaster.
HOT TIP: Before entering a relationship, decide what you are looking for or what you want to come from it. If you want a committed long-term relationship, then set yourself up for a higher likelihood of success by creating a solid foundation built on not just love or physical attraction but honesty, respect, trust, communication, balance, and boundaries.
People Who Make You Feel Bad About Engaging In Self-Love Most Likely Fit Into One Or More Of The Following Four Categories...
1. JEALOUS, MANIPULATIVE, SHORT-TEMPERED, OR CONTROLLING
2. FEARFUL, CODEPENDENT, OR NEEDY-- ADULT RELYING TOO HEAVILY ON YOU
3. IGNORANT, CHILDISH, NAIVE, SELFISH THEMSELVES, OR LOOKING TO SABOTAGE
4. LACKS EMPATHY, OUT OF TOUCH WITH REALITY, DISTORTED PERCEPTION OR NARCISSIST/ MENTAL DISORDER
Self-love is simply a part of living a healthy lifestyle. Always spend time loving and supporting your family, lover, or friends but implement balance so that you give to yourself regularly TOO.
"TOO MUCH OF ANYTHING ISN'T GOOD FOR YOU."
...So don't give too much time to others but also don't spend all of your time on yourself. Spread the Love and allot your time accordingly.
HOT TIP: Think of taking time for yourself as time you deserve instead of time you are required to devote to everyone else, then you can eliminate guilt.
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