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If You Want To HEAL, Forgiving Yourself And Others Is Required


People are they way they are for a reason. Experiences shape our thinking and our behaviors. Sometimes people become insecure, guarded, mean or hardened as a result of experiencing trauma. Someone may lie or hurt others to avoid being hurt themselves...but that is not okay. We can empathize with others' pain and even be understanding of the reasons why someone became so cold-hearted; but EVERYONE has a choice of what type of person they want to be. Everyone has the choice to heal themselves and be open to love and relationships. If you were hurt by someone, it doesn't give you an excuse to hurt someone else. It is important to remember that although it may take longer for some, levels of growth and healing are possible for all people. In order to heal, one must acknowledge & FORGIVE.

Common feelings someone in a toxic situation has are sadness, anxiety, insecurity, inadequacy, fear, anger, and confusion. Sometimes these feelings are amplified right after the end of a toxic situation like a break up or being fired. To healthily get rid of those negative feelings and move on, you have to do the internal work. Your growth becomes stunted when you resist doing the challenging mental and emotional work of self-reflecting, forgiving (yourself and others who hurt you), and making positive changes. Refusing your own growth, or self-evolution, only hurts you and ultimately can negatively affect all others who come in contact with you.

 

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NOTE... Suppressing Emotions For An Extended Period Of Time Is Very Damaging

Holding in anything your body produces is probably not a good idea, and emotions are on that list. Sure, it is not appropriate to out of the blue scream at the top of your lungs at someone you are angry with...but there are ways to convey what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours without derailing or imploding. I have been guilty in the past of letting negative emotions accumulate. Things that bothered me, with family or at work, I let build up and decided not to address them. Eventually I became depressed from keeping so much in to avoid confrontation and drama or tension. I tried to keep the peace for other people, and was left with unsettling feelings for myself. I learned that no matter how uncomfortable it may be initially, it is important to express your thoughts and emotions (maturely and appropriately). If you let things out, fix issues, and move on then you can in many instances avoid having to tackle the healing process of depression, anxiety, resentment, rage, self-loathing, desensitivity (cold-heart) and any other aforementioned negative emotion.

"If you haven’t healed it, everytime you think of a negative event from your past, your body produces the exact same chemicals in the body as when it happened. That means you relive the experience hundreds of times simply because you have not let it go."

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"I don’t know any perfect people and I don’t know many people who stay the same in a decade’s time. I have changed...and we all have in some way. We all experience unforgettable moments, some amazing and some painful...but the great thing is that we learn and grow, win or lose, and create priceless memories that help shape who we are. In my life I have been fearful, I have dismissed my needs and loved others more than myself to the point of self deterioration..I have hurt people, I have made mistakes and behaved in reckless ways that were a reflection of my own inner pain, insecurities, and trauma... but my experiences are a part of MY journey. At times I think about things I could have done differently..and “what if’s” cross my mind, but I forgive, and I know nothing happens in life without divine purpose. Whatever roughed me up made me stronger and smarter and at the end of the day I AM BLESSED, I AM LOVED. What is meant for me I WILL have. I am at peace with that. I don’t want to be perfect but I do want to be better each day, to continue to change, learn, love, and experience all that this life has in store for me." 💗 #destiny

- Courtney Camille


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